Therapy

People say writing on their blog is therapeutic. I never thought of it like that--to me it's scary. Maybe I need a little therapy. I have a need to speak up, speak out, be listened to. I am just such a chameleon that I can't take the spotty feedback problem. As in, I must know how I am received in order to feel safe sharing. But do I really have to care about that? No one reads my blog; I guess that should make me feel better, right?
So at this moment, I am avoiding. Avoiding laundry, scripture study, floor sweeping, finding a nutritious lunch, journal writing (does this count?), making dinner for the missionaries. Why is that? Am I just tired? Yes, baby crying all night tired--or is it more than that? Is it that I've fallen out of the habit of really studying the word of God and I feel guilty? What else am I not getting done? Have I forgotten how to breathe? Am I being fulfilled? Motherhood is such a balancing act, isn't it? Help everyone else and still make time for yourself. Be perfect; don't judge others; don't compare yourself to others.

I am getting worked up now. It's all too much for the arm of my flesh. I need refuge, rest. I am going to go get some. It's sitting next to my journal in a black cover. I know the Lord loves me. I am going to listen to Him.

My Girls

Joann loves to kiss Aurora. She pouts if she doesn't get to hug and kiss her before Rory's nap.

My Mom

My mom is the kindest person I know. Joann says, "Grandma Jean is so nice. She won't even let us say thank you. And she's so pretty." I agree. I loved staying with her in December--I was sick and she is so lovely to be around when you don't feel good because she takes care of everything and give you foot rubs and hot breakfast. And lunch. And dinner. The best thing about my mom is her testimony of Jesus Christ. It is evident in everything she does. I love you Mom!